Exclusive interview: Flat Stanley visits Colonial Times, tells reporters of his travels from Illinois


Flat Stanley (he’s the little guy) visited with the staff of the Colonial Times.

COLONIAL LIBRARY — One ordinary day, Flat Stanley visited New York. He sailed in an envelope to New York from Chicago.

On his trip, he went to the hot dog stand on 43rd Street and took a bath in the sewer. (Flat Stanley, a character in a series of books by Jeff Brown, is made of paper and flat, so he can be mailed to other places for visits.)

Stanley said he chose Stanley Lambchop as his real name because he said “goo goo gaa,” which means “I want to be called Stanley Lambchop.” Stanley loves Stay Puff Marshmallows. He wants to be an author when he grows up because everyone named Lambchop wants to be an author. His favorite song is “Mitt Romney Style.”

“I saw Flat walking his dog by the Chrysler Building,” said Colonial Times reporter Jack Murphy

Stanley had a hard time finding Colonial School because he couldn’t get out of a garbage can. He found out that he was at Colonial School. He was in the back in the trash can.

“I will never forget Flat falling in the garbage,” said Colonial Times reporter Jacob Hartmere.

Stanley wasn’t in the mood for an interview. He played musical chairs with a gavial, an ocelot and a yowie.

“He went coco crazy,” said Lulu Johnson, a New York native.”

A sad thing, Flat had to go home. “No! ” cried everyone at the Colonial Times.

When he left, he was playing with a yowie. He went to Modell’s. And then he went to Trader Joe’s and he started singing “Mitt Romney Style” while eating marshmallows and playing the trumpet.

“Aaaaay wealthy ladies. Mitt Mitt Mitt Mitt MItt Romney Style.”

(Publisher’s note: Flat Stanley, a character in a series of books by Jeff Brown, arrived in the mail at the home of newspaper advisor Rich Zahradnik. He was sent by Kate Mathias, his niece in Palatine, Illinois. Kate said her elementary school class was sending Stanley all over the place. You see, because he’s flat, he can travel by envelope. Kate asked for a report back on his visit to Pelham. Mr. Z thought Stanley would enjoy a visit to the Colonial Times. He asked two reporters to interview Stanley. He told them to be creative. They were.)